So, as I've been preparing for my participation in this annual ritual, my phone, of all things, has been suffering a nervous breakdown. God knows I could probably live without a mobile (and maybe someday soon I will) but when you have one that's supposed to at least stay on when you expect it to, and it doesn't, naturally you go about setting yourself up with a repair or a new phone. And in the name of saving some cash, I decide it was time to leave the network that cares little about making sure I'm on the best tariff to suit my needs and move to one that actually wants my business. My new network has set me up with a sweet deal, and a new version of the phone that I was already using... it's younger brother, so to speak.
No one told me that it was a James Bond phone.
Oooooohhhh!!!
Little did I know, but I have such refined taste I unwittingly chose the very same phone that Q (or Z or whatever he's called now) chose for 007 to carry. I wanted it for the 5 megapixel camera, but I had no idea about it's cache or the fact that it can be used to spy on people!
And now I feel compelled to run around and dodge traffic, to spy on bad people, on corrupt multinational organisations and criminals. I'm now afraid to dial a number on my new phone in fear that the receiving party, usually a friend of mine, might be blown up. And in the box they included a picture of how you should look when you're using the phone, or just carrying it in your handbag. I've been trying my best to replicate the look but I just... can't... get my lips... to cooperate....
As you can see in the bottom right photo, I gave up and decided that my secret agent face would more closely resemble a Lily Tomlin/Charlie Chaplin hybrid. More my style. And if anyone has a problem with that, I'll just wear my new Daniel Craig mask when you're around.
P.S. I guess I should go see Quantum of Solace so I can see exactly what it is my phone can do!
7 comments:
Ha! You have too much time on your hands, lady.
LOl!! Love the pics!! Too funny!
~kimme
It looks like the distance from the base of your hand to the tip of your middle finger is 16.5 cm. That makes you a secretly-loves-to-gossip agent.
LOL on the photos, btw.
What does it mean if my hand is 18.5cm long (my hands have been described lovingly as "piano player's hands", which is only true of my more talented brother)? Will certain traits of mine trigger some secret function in my new phone? For instance, my elbows are double jointed. If I overextend them will a fully loaded Astin Martin come flying out of nowhere on autopilot? (Or does Bond drive an Astin anymore? Something tells me he drives an Audi, and if so then I am starting to think I have some very latent Bond idolatry tendencies...)
18.5 cm means you're the gnarliest of secret agents. You don't gossip with anyone, not even shiny rocks. But with a handkerchief sling you could put one of those rocks through a crow's eye from fifty fee-- er, fifty meters. Or metres.
And if your hand really is 18.5 cm, then we were separated at birth. No wonder it hurt so much when you bitchslapped me after the election!
i thought top right was a good likeness actually!
lol
Oh molly I miss you! Oh and you'll have to tell me how to get more than one pic in a blog entry...I just can't do it. I love you!
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